Some of our scheduls may have been a little different this week.
Tomorrow will be out "catch-up day" for week 5 (if any catching up is needed).
Hope you had a good day today!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Historical Jesus
Of course, Jesus is a historical figure. He is actually the focal point of history.
Some people who have gone on a quest for the "historical Jesus" have done it from an approach that seemed to undermine Scripture. They try to find the historical facts behind the "mythology" of Scripture. While they define "myth" in a way that is not as bad as the usual understanding of the word (as related to the Bible), they still are way too skeptical of some of the words in Scripture in my opinion. I do assure you that my stance is to be fully committed to the inerrancy of the Word of God.
Some people who have gone on a quest for the "historical Jesus" have done it from an approach that seemed to undermine Scripture. They try to find the historical facts behind the "mythology" of Scripture. While they define "myth" in a way that is not as bad as the usual understanding of the word (as related to the Bible), they still are way too skeptical of some of the words in Scripture in my opinion. I do assure you that my stance is to be fully committed to the inerrancy of the Word of God.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Good Job
Tyler and Roger,
Ijust want to say that you both are doing a great job with this course.
Keep up the good work!
Ijust want to say that you both are doing a great job with this course.
Keep up the good work!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Hospital Visits
I notice that that the Rockbridge students have several threads of thought about the length of a hospital visit, about whether to pray or not to pray, and thoughts on the book and the Pastor's Tips.
I want to give you some tips based on my experience. They don't differ greatly from what has already been presented, but they may give you some encouragment.
As always, in any situation in ministry, we want to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. We also want to observe what happens when we enter into a new situation, and learn from our experiences.
One experience I am grateful is that of working as a hospital chaplain for the V.A. Medical Center in our local area. When I started, I was somewhat apprehensive about what I was supposed to do. I soon found, though, that the main chaplain was overloaded with a need to do administrative work along with the "visiting" work. It turned out, that I would end up doing about 80% of the visits. I was not given too many guidlines. A lot of this was like the "cold calling" several of you mentioned.
Our practice was to visit each new patient that entered the hospital, and to visit every paitent who was put on the seriously ill list. We would visit other patients more often if they indicated they wanted those visits.
After a couple of weeks of doing this, I came up with the following plan that was acceptable to my supervisor (the main chaplain) also: Basically, a visit would go like this. I would enter the room and introduce myself to the patient. I said something like, "I am here from the chaplain's office, and we just wanted you to know that we would be glad to come by and have prayer with you sometime." Then I would be quiet. Like one of you said, the ball was then in their court. From there, I just responded to the patient. Sometimes they were talkative, and I would stay and talk. Sometimes they would just say, "O.K." or "Thank you," and I could tell the visit was over. Many times (most), I was quite comfortable asking, "Would you like me to have prayer for you today?" Almost always they would say, "yes," but on a few occasions they would say "no." Since I had included the word, "today," the tension over a refusal was diffused. Another way to handle that would be to use the word, "now." "Would you like me to have prayer with you now?" This works well if earlier in the conversation you have said something like that you would be glad to have prayer with them sometime.
On an average day, we would visit anywhere from 15 to 20 patients, so a lot of them got the "five-minute" type of visit. On the other hand, there would be those (usually two or three) who were open to talking about spiritual things or who just wanted to talk in general. Often I figured out that those two or three patients were really the reason why I was there--why God had placed me there for that time. Still, those longer visits seldom ran longer than 20 minutes.
Another thing I did was to ask the question, "What are the doctors telling you?" Then I would listen carefully to what they had to say. When I first came on board, when a doctor entered the room, he or she often just brushed right on past and ignored me. This didn't happen every time, but it did happen enough to be noticeable. At that time, we had access to the patient's charts, and we wrote notes in them ourselves. When I first started, our goal was to document ten percent of our visits in the charts. Then we set a goal to go to twenty-five percent. The hopital made a change to electronic documentation, so we started putting our comments into the computer. I was fairly computer literate, so I started documenting all of my visits. I say all of that to come to this. Since I always asked the patient, "what are the doctors telling you," I always put their answer into the electronic chart. I think others also transferred thses over to the paper charts--or maybe we printed them out and put them in there too. Anyway, the doctors began to notice that I had asked that question, so many of them began to read our comments because they wanted to see if the patient really understood what they were telling him or her. Since they were reading our comments, they soon began to occasionally consult with us too. (I'm sure they already did that some with the main chaplain since he was established, but I thought the progression from being ignored to being consulted was interesting in my own case.)
My own preference for a hosptital visit for member of my own congregation, or their family members that they ask me to visit, is to be comfortable with leaving after about five minutes if it seems natural, but to go twenty minutes if the patient seems alert enough for this and if conversation, either from the patient or the family members, seems to be flowing well enough to warrant that length of stay. I do usually, but not always, ask if they would like for me to pray with them today. If it seems "forced" to get that question in, I don't worry about not asking it. If it is a person I know very well and who attends church regularly, I will often ask them if they would like me to read Scripture too (before asking about prayer,) They usually will like that too. Contrary to what some may say about picking out a very appropriate passage, I don't necessarily worry about that either. I just try make sure the passage I read does not raise troubling questions, bring up bad memories, or things like that. I have several verses from Roman chapter 8 underlined. Sometimes I will just read some of those. In our area, regular church-goers will appreciate the reading and prayer. In all of these situations, though, I don't try to force anything.
My take on what to do when the doctor enters the room is to do what we did as chaplains. When the doctor came in, we would get up or move away from the bed so as not to be in the way. After I was established, someimes the doctor thought I was leaving, and he or she would often say, "You don't have to leave." So, now my policy has to do with how well I know the patient. Many patientes would prefer that I be in the room, so they could ask me questions to make sure they heard correctly what the doctor said. Many times a doctor visit is very routine, and it is not necessary to leave in those cases.
They way I do it now when a hospital staff member comes into the room is to start to move so as not to be in the way of whatever they have to do. Many times a nurse will simply say, "You don't have to move," or "You're O.K." Then I stay put (unless I need this as sort of an excuse to leave.) When a doctor comes in, I get up and move away from the bed and move closer to the door. If his or her visit seems very routine and not sensitive or confidential in any way, I stay in the room. The key is to watch the patient, the patient's family members, or the doctor. If any of them seem to want to speak confidentially, I quickly excuse myself (or just slip out without saying anything.) Many times the patient or family member will introduce me to the doctor. Then leaving may seem a little strange. I think in this regard, to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, to be aware of what seems natural, and to closely observe the patient, doctor, or family member, will allow you to receive the wisdom to know what to do. I am not saying there is anything wrong with always excusing yourself when a doctor comes in, I am just giving you my take on what to do in these situations.
Outside of the hospital room, staying quite a while in a visiting room with the family often gives some good relationship-building opportunities. Often, I just "play it by ear" as to how long to make those visits.
I hope some of these things can perhaps be helpful to some of you.
I do enjoy learning from your insights.
I want to give you some tips based on my experience. They don't differ greatly from what has already been presented, but they may give you some encouragment.
As always, in any situation in ministry, we want to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. We also want to observe what happens when we enter into a new situation, and learn from our experiences.
One experience I am grateful is that of working as a hospital chaplain for the V.A. Medical Center in our local area. When I started, I was somewhat apprehensive about what I was supposed to do. I soon found, though, that the main chaplain was overloaded with a need to do administrative work along with the "visiting" work. It turned out, that I would end up doing about 80% of the visits. I was not given too many guidlines. A lot of this was like the "cold calling" several of you mentioned.
Our practice was to visit each new patient that entered the hospital, and to visit every paitent who was put on the seriously ill list. We would visit other patients more often if they indicated they wanted those visits.
After a couple of weeks of doing this, I came up with the following plan that was acceptable to my supervisor (the main chaplain) also: Basically, a visit would go like this. I would enter the room and introduce myself to the patient. I said something like, "I am here from the chaplain's office, and we just wanted you to know that we would be glad to come by and have prayer with you sometime." Then I would be quiet. Like one of you said, the ball was then in their court. From there, I just responded to the patient. Sometimes they were talkative, and I would stay and talk. Sometimes they would just say, "O.K." or "Thank you," and I could tell the visit was over. Many times (most), I was quite comfortable asking, "Would you like me to have prayer for you today?" Almost always they would say, "yes," but on a few occasions they would say "no." Since I had included the word, "today," the tension over a refusal was diffused. Another way to handle that would be to use the word, "now." "Would you like me to have prayer with you now?" This works well if earlier in the conversation you have said something like that you would be glad to have prayer with them sometime.
On an average day, we would visit anywhere from 15 to 20 patients, so a lot of them got the "five-minute" type of visit. On the other hand, there would be those (usually two or three) who were open to talking about spiritual things or who just wanted to talk in general. Often I figured out that those two or three patients were really the reason why I was there--why God had placed me there for that time. Still, those longer visits seldom ran longer than 20 minutes.
Another thing I did was to ask the question, "What are the doctors telling you?" Then I would listen carefully to what they had to say. When I first came on board, when a doctor entered the room, he or she often just brushed right on past and ignored me. This didn't happen every time, but it did happen enough to be noticeable. At that time, we had access to the patient's charts, and we wrote notes in them ourselves. When I first started, our goal was to document ten percent of our visits in the charts. Then we set a goal to go to twenty-five percent. The hopital made a change to electronic documentation, so we started putting our comments into the computer. I was fairly computer literate, so I started documenting all of my visits. I say all of that to come to this. Since I always asked the patient, "what are the doctors telling you," I always put their answer into the electronic chart. I think others also transferred thses over to the paper charts--or maybe we printed them out and put them in there too. Anyway, the doctors began to notice that I had asked that question, so many of them began to read our comments because they wanted to see if the patient really understood what they were telling him or her. Since they were reading our comments, they soon began to occasionally consult with us too. (I'm sure they already did that some with the main chaplain since he was established, but I thought the progression from being ignored to being consulted was interesting in my own case.)
My own preference for a hosptital visit for member of my own congregation, or their family members that they ask me to visit, is to be comfortable with leaving after about five minutes if it seems natural, but to go twenty minutes if the patient seems alert enough for this and if conversation, either from the patient or the family members, seems to be flowing well enough to warrant that length of stay. I do usually, but not always, ask if they would like for me to pray with them today. If it seems "forced" to get that question in, I don't worry about not asking it. If it is a person I know very well and who attends church regularly, I will often ask them if they would like me to read Scripture too (before asking about prayer,) They usually will like that too. Contrary to what some may say about picking out a very appropriate passage, I don't necessarily worry about that either. I just try make sure the passage I read does not raise troubling questions, bring up bad memories, or things like that. I have several verses from Roman chapter 8 underlined. Sometimes I will just read some of those. In our area, regular church-goers will appreciate the reading and prayer. In all of these situations, though, I don't try to force anything.
My take on what to do when the doctor enters the room is to do what we did as chaplains. When the doctor came in, we would get up or move away from the bed so as not to be in the way. After I was established, someimes the doctor thought I was leaving, and he or she would often say, "You don't have to leave." So, now my policy has to do with how well I know the patient. Many patientes would prefer that I be in the room, so they could ask me questions to make sure they heard correctly what the doctor said. Many times a doctor visit is very routine, and it is not necessary to leave in those cases.
They way I do it now when a hospital staff member comes into the room is to start to move so as not to be in the way of whatever they have to do. Many times a nurse will simply say, "You don't have to move," or "You're O.K." Then I stay put (unless I need this as sort of an excuse to leave.) When a doctor comes in, I get up and move away from the bed and move closer to the door. If his or her visit seems very routine and not sensitive or confidential in any way, I stay in the room. The key is to watch the patient, the patient's family members, or the doctor. If any of them seem to want to speak confidentially, I quickly excuse myself (or just slip out without saying anything.) Many times the patient or family member will introduce me to the doctor. Then leaving may seem a little strange. I think in this regard, to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, to be aware of what seems natural, and to closely observe the patient, doctor, or family member, will allow you to receive the wisdom to know what to do. I am not saying there is anything wrong with always excusing yourself when a doctor comes in, I am just giving you my take on what to do in these situations.
Outside of the hospital room, staying quite a while in a visiting room with the family often gives some good relationship-building opportunities. Often, I just "play it by ear" as to how long to make those visits.
I hope some of these things can perhaps be helpful to some of you.
I do enjoy learning from your insights.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Offering Prayer as Part of a Hospital Visit
The chapter (in Pastoral Care in Hospitals by Neville A. Kirkwood--the textbook for the Rockbridge Seminary Course) on offering prayer as a part of a hospital visit was interesting. Do you do that every time? Do you only have prayer when it is requested? The end of the chapter was valuable in that you can often discern when prayer will be appreciated without being specifically asked for.
While you don't want your prayers to be particularly "canned," there are certain things that have such a wide apprpriateness, you may find yourself verbalizing things over and over again. This can be bad, but it is not necessarily bad. The example of the "blessing prayer" used by the author in almost all of his visits is an example of such a prayer that is not necessarily bad even though it is quite repetitious..
Your regular church members may expect Bible reading and prayer. The key is to exercise discernment. (Remember that God will not "upbraid" us for asking for wisdom.)
While you don't want your prayers to be particularly "canned," there are certain things that have such a wide apprpriateness, you may find yourself verbalizing things over and over again. This can be bad, but it is not necessarily bad. The example of the "blessing prayer" used by the author in almost all of his visits is an example of such a prayer that is not necessarily bad even though it is quite repetitious..
Your regular church members may expect Bible reading and prayer. The key is to exercise discernment. (Remember that God will not "upbraid" us for asking for wisdom.)
Monday, November 16, 2009
What Is the Way to Heaven?
In studying about Jesus being the only way to Heaven, I think what comes to mind is: If Jesus is not the way to Heaven, What is the way to Heaven? How do these other views relate to the justice and mercy of God? One way, perhaps, is simply to say that God is merciful, but how is that applied? What about the idea of punishment for atrocities? Does anyone deserve eternal punishment? Most people seem to think that some crimes deserve some type of punishment. If something or someone does deserve some type of punishment, God will be just. Will He be just across the board? How do other ways of salvation relate to God's justice?
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Problem of Evil
The problem of evil, which is related to suffering, as described in the Rockbridge textbook, has been around for a long time. I find, at least in part, that free will as described in the text gives some ways of giving partial explanation, which at least removes some blame (that others may place on Him) from God.
The problem will probably continue to be debated until we leave this earth. Then we will be given the mind of Christ. Until that time, it is probably best to recognize that some aspects of life will only remain a mystery. The best course, as our confidence grows, is to trust God--even though we don't understand what is going on.
It is easy to say that when we are not the parties going through suffering. However, it does seem to be a mark of maturity when we see those who trust God in the midst of their confusion.
The problem will probably continue to be debated until we leave this earth. Then we will be given the mind of Christ. Until that time, it is probably best to recognize that some aspects of life will only remain a mystery. The best course, as our confidence grows, is to trust God--even though we don't understand what is going on.
It is easy to say that when we are not the parties going through suffering. However, it does seem to be a mark of maturity when we see those who trust God in the midst of their confusion.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Jesus' Role in Creation
As I continue to think about the importance of Jesus being the way to Heaven, I am taken, once again, back to the thoughts of Creation. In Genesis 1, God said, "“Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness." That, being in the plural, shows one of the earliest ideas of God as Trinity. Since Jesus was the second person of the Trinity, the Father could have been speaking to the Son here. (The Spirit was already mentioned very early in the chapter.)
That is why there really is no contradiction when John 1 speaks of Jesus being involved in the act of Creation: "1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made." (NKJV)
Jesus was unique in Creation, and I believe that eventually plays a part in His providing salvation.
That is why there really is no contradiction when John 1 speaks of Jesus being involved in the act of Creation: "1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made." (NKJV)
Jesus was unique in Creation, and I believe that eventually plays a part in His providing salvation.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Course 10 Week 3 Main Comments
Sorry, I forgot to put this up yesterday. Your comments below the other post will count for this week.
End of Life Issues
In the Rockbidge class, we are dealing with some difficult issues that families sometimes have to face concerning end of life issues. You may continue on with the lines of thought you have raised for the remainder of this week, or you may comment on the following:
As we continue the discussion this week, for our pesonal wrestling with some of these issues, perhaps we could be helped by some of Joni Earickson Tada's thoughts. She pointed out that we have to determine if our decision will prolong life or if it will prolong death. In what ways could we perhaps be helped by the principle she just mentioned.
My father passed away almost 24 years ago. He had eight years of dealing with chronic lymphocytic leukemia after he was diagnosed. His wish was, "Have them do everything they can for me as long as I can breathe on my own." He did not want to be hooked up to a ventilator (Just because I am sharing this does not mean there are no times whenit is very beneficial for someone to be placed on a ventilator.) He really had eight "pretty good" years before he went on to be with the Lord. He wanted life prolonged, but he didn't want death prolonged. In my case, Joni's way of looking at things helps. Is it helpful for you? Does it raise other questions? If so, what?
As we continue the discussion this week, for our pesonal wrestling with some of these issues, perhaps we could be helped by some of Joni Earickson Tada's thoughts. She pointed out that we have to determine if our decision will prolong life or if it will prolong death. In what ways could we perhaps be helped by the principle she just mentioned.
My father passed away almost 24 years ago. He had eight years of dealing with chronic lymphocytic leukemia after he was diagnosed. His wish was, "Have them do everything they can for me as long as I can breathe on my own." He did not want to be hooked up to a ventilator (Just because I am sharing this does not mean there are no times whenit is very beneficial for someone to be placed on a ventilator.) He really had eight "pretty good" years before he went on to be with the Lord. He wanted life prolonged, but he didn't want death prolonged. In my case, Joni's way of looking at things helps. Is it helpful for you? Does it raise other questions? If so, what?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Funerals for Those You Don't Know Very Well
It is difficult to believe that we are already 1/4 of the way through the course. This week, the Rockbridge students will turn in some reading questions and we will deal with some issues such as illness and theology, and bioethics.
In our discussions, I just wanted to share with you a little about preaching funerals. Sometimes you will be called upon to preach a funeral for someone you don't know very well. I am often glad to do this, but it is challenging to personalize your message.
Yesterday, I conducted a funeral for a gentleman I did not know very well. Bro. Roger did know him, so he actually observed my going through some of this process first hand
I had about an hour to circulate among the family, and I asked different ones, "If you could describe _______________ in one or two words, what would you say?" I found the answers to be fairly consistent: "hard worker," "knowledgeable/wise," "quiet," "married for 57 years!" I used to ask people if any particular memory stands out, but lots of times they "draw a blank" when I ask that question. This one, about describing someone in a few words, seems to work much better.
The people I talked to also told me about his early church attendance, that he had been saved and baptized. The church attendance had slacked off in the last few years; however, his three sons and several of the grandchildren very openly testified of their faith and even of his faith.
When I talked with him last, he had caught a squirrel. I went back and forth in my mind as to whether I would use that as part of the message. I actually was able to use that as an illustration of how we are captured and Christ sets us free. I also was able to use the fact that the Bible compares marriage to the church. This fit in very well because of their longevity in marriage.
During the service, one of the grandsons spoke of some specific memories and also talked of his grandfather's "Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." He did a very good job of speaking.
All of this new information made the task much easier. The sons also encouraged me to transithon into an evangelistic message as part of the service too. I usually do that anyway, but they particularly wanted the Gospel to be presented.
So, it ended up being a good day.
In our discussions, I just wanted to share with you a little about preaching funerals. Sometimes you will be called upon to preach a funeral for someone you don't know very well. I am often glad to do this, but it is challenging to personalize your message.
Yesterday, I conducted a funeral for a gentleman I did not know very well. Bro. Roger did know him, so he actually observed my going through some of this process first hand
I had about an hour to circulate among the family, and I asked different ones, "If you could describe _______________ in one or two words, what would you say?" I found the answers to be fairly consistent: "hard worker," "knowledgeable/wise," "quiet," "married for 57 years!" I used to ask people if any particular memory stands out, but lots of times they "draw a blank" when I ask that question. This one, about describing someone in a few words, seems to work much better.
The people I talked to also told me about his early church attendance, that he had been saved and baptized. The church attendance had slacked off in the last few years; however, his three sons and several of the grandchildren very openly testified of their faith and even of his faith.
When I talked with him last, he had caught a squirrel. I went back and forth in my mind as to whether I would use that as part of the message. I actually was able to use that as an illustration of how we are captured and Christ sets us free. I also was able to use the fact that the Bible compares marriage to the church. This fit in very well because of their longevity in marriage.
During the service, one of the grandsons spoke of some specific memories and also talked of his grandfather's "Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." He did a very good job of speaking.
All of this new information made the task much easier. The sons also encouraged me to transithon into an evangelistic message as part of the service too. I usually do that anyway, but they particularly wanted the Gospel to be presented.
So, it ended up being a good day.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Care-Giving Is Like Communication in Marriage
Have you noticed that much of what we have been talking about relates to marriage communication?
I have studied this over the course of the last several years, and in preparation for a chapter in the (soon to be published) book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss. The idea that men and women think differently (actually have different ways of forming their thought processes) often seems to intrigue audiences when I speak on this aspect of marriage.
Bill and Pam Farrel have written a very good book on this subject called, Men are Like Waffles: Women are Like Spaghetti. Basically, the idea is that men tend to think in compartments like the little boxes in waffles, and that women tend to view all of life as being interrelated like spaghetti all tangled together.
Men are ofen in problem-solving mode (and sometimes that is what the wife needs), but often the wife just needs him to empthize with her, or help her as she tries to see how what she is talking about relates to the rest of life. Sometimes all she wants is for him to listen.
Men relating to men in a care-giving situation can be done somewhat differently than men relating to women, but often we see the advice given to us in care-giving situations being more like the advice given to a husband when learning how to communicate with his wife. Why is that? Do you think it could be that in many care-giving situations we really can't fix the problem? So, we learn to be there for the person we are trying to help, just like a husband does for his wife in the situations where she really doesn't need the problem to be fixed.
Does this seem to make sense? Can you think of any other ways this analogy might work? Do you have any illustrations you might be comfortable in sharing of how just being there can help in your spirtual care-giving situations? Maybe you would like to show the distinction of where the analogy breaks down. (All anologies break down at some point because they only show how different things are alike--but still they are different things.)
Share some of your thoughts on this in some of your posts in unit 2.
I have studied this over the course of the last several years, and in preparation for a chapter in the (soon to be published) book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss. The idea that men and women think differently (actually have different ways of forming their thought processes) often seems to intrigue audiences when I speak on this aspect of marriage.
Bill and Pam Farrel have written a very good book on this subject called, Men are Like Waffles: Women are Like Spaghetti. Basically, the idea is that men tend to think in compartments like the little boxes in waffles, and that women tend to view all of life as being interrelated like spaghetti all tangled together.
Men are ofen in problem-solving mode (and sometimes that is what the wife needs), but often the wife just needs him to empthize with her, or help her as she tries to see how what she is talking about relates to the rest of life. Sometimes all she wants is for him to listen.
Men relating to men in a care-giving situation can be done somewhat differently than men relating to women, but often we see the advice given to us in care-giving situations being more like the advice given to a husband when learning how to communicate with his wife. Why is that? Do you think it could be that in many care-giving situations we really can't fix the problem? So, we learn to be there for the person we are trying to help, just like a husband does for his wife in the situations where she really doesn't need the problem to be fixed.
Does this seem to make sense? Can you think of any other ways this analogy might work? Do you have any illustrations you might be comfortable in sharing of how just being there can help in your spirtual care-giving situations? Maybe you would like to show the distinction of where the analogy breaks down. (All anologies break down at some point because they only show how different things are alike--but still they are different things.)
Share some of your thoughts on this in some of your posts in unit 2.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
More about Boundaries
I have enjoyed listening to the students at Rockbridge Seminary describe the value of putting boundaries in their lives. This is something that is important for our Preachers Meeting participlants to learn to do also. We are not always successful at this, perhaps, but for the sake of our health and for the sake of our families, this is an important thing to do.
The president of one of the companies/ministries that I worked for in the past taught on this subject. He said for us to learn this statement:
"At no time
will your problem become my problem;
for, then you wouldn't have a problem;
and, I like helping people with problems!"
The more we can learn to do this (without being calloused), the stronger we can be for the one to whom we are trying to minister.
The president of one of the companies/ministries that I worked for in the past taught on this subject. He said for us to learn this statement:
"At no time
will your problem become my problem;
for, then you wouldn't have a problem;
and, I like helping people with problems!"
The more we can learn to do this (without being calloused), the stronger we can be for the one to whom we are trying to minister.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Two-Question Method of Counseling
Sometimes you will be called upon to help people in times of crisis. At other times, you will be asked to counsel people in the midst of all kinds of problems. Listen is a skill that can help in both cases.
Years ago, I had the privilege of attending a Billy Graham School of Evangelism. One of the speakers was Dr. Charles Allen. He spoke on the topic of counseling. He had what I later came to call the "two-question method of counseling."
He said a person or a couple would come to him for counseling. They would be seated before him at his desk. The he said that he would put his hands together, and ask, "Now, what is the problem?" Then he would be quiet and just listen.
After a while they would clarify the problem. Sometimes that is all that is necessary, he said. When the problem is clarified, that might be all they need.
After they stated the problem, he woud fold his hands together and say, "Now, what do you think you should do about it?" Then he would listen.
Finally, he would say, "That sounds like a good idea. Why don't you try that?"
He said he had a lot of success with that type of "counseling."
Obviously, if what they thought they should do was clearly against Scripture, his experiement would not work. However, in a lot of cases, what they came up with was pretty good.
Listening is a skill that is very useful in many areas of life. True listening between husbands and wives can help them work through many, many things.
People in crisis sometimes just need someone to listen to them.
May the Lord help us all to become better listeners.
Years ago, I had the privilege of attending a Billy Graham School of Evangelism. One of the speakers was Dr. Charles Allen. He spoke on the topic of counseling. He had what I later came to call the "two-question method of counseling."
He said a person or a couple would come to him for counseling. They would be seated before him at his desk. The he said that he would put his hands together, and ask, "Now, what is the problem?" Then he would be quiet and just listen.
After a while they would clarify the problem. Sometimes that is all that is necessary, he said. When the problem is clarified, that might be all they need.
After they stated the problem, he woud fold his hands together and say, "Now, what do you think you should do about it?" Then he would listen.
Finally, he would say, "That sounds like a good idea. Why don't you try that?"
He said he had a lot of success with that type of "counseling."
Obviously, if what they thought they should do was clearly against Scripture, his experiement would not work. However, in a lot of cases, what they came up with was pretty good.
Listening is a skill that is very useful in many areas of life. True listening between husbands and wives can help them work through many, many things.
People in crisis sometimes just need someone to listen to them.
May the Lord help us all to become better listeners.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Spiritual Care-Givers and Boundaries
One of the things in ministry that is a chellenge is to be involved with helping people. Sometimes we are thrust into the postition of being a spritual care-give. That seems to be overwhelming. We have to learn to help without bringing everyone's problems home in such a way that they negatively affect our health or our family. How can we do that?
One the things that can help us, because we deal with so many people who have problems, is to remember that "we are responsible to people, not for them." I don't remember where I first heard that quote, but I have found the principle to be helpful for relieving stress in my own life when it comes to trying to help others.
We don't have all the anwers, but we know we can point people to the One Who does have the answers. (The challenge is that sometimes the Lord speaks to us only in a whisper, or even seems to be silent--that is why personal Bible Study is so important. Our mind being saturated with Scripture helps us with objective truth when our personal subjective experiences cause us concerns.) We can gently put things in a spirtual perspective when we are thrust into the role of "spiritual care-giver."
One the things that can help us, because we deal with so many people who have problems, is to remember that "we are responsible to people, not for them." I don't remember where I first heard that quote, but I have found the principle to be helpful for relieving stress in my own life when it comes to trying to help others.
We don't have all the anwers, but we know we can point people to the One Who does have the answers. (The challenge is that sometimes the Lord speaks to us only in a whisper, or even seems to be silent--that is why personal Bible Study is so important. Our mind being saturated with Scripture helps us with objective truth when our personal subjective experiences cause us concerns.) We can gently put things in a spirtual perspective when we are thrust into the role of "spiritual care-giver."
Monday, November 2, 2009
Creation and Christ
For me the importance of Christ in the area of our salvation actually begins with the very first words of the Bible.
All Christians agree that God created the universe instead of the universe evolving without a design.
While there are some Christians who subscribe to the theory of an "older earh," I believer the "young earh" Creationists present very credible arguments.
Even those who subscribe to an older earth theory, should, in my opinion respect the young earth theory proponents. The young earth theory certainly fits in better with a literal reading of the Bible. (My view of that is that the literal reading is always preferred unless a figurative meaning is obvious.)
Don't we all agree that God created?
All Christians agree that God created the universe instead of the universe evolving without a design.
While there are some Christians who subscribe to the theory of an "older earh," I believer the "young earh" Creationists present very credible arguments.
Even those who subscribe to an older earth theory, should, in my opinion respect the young earth theory proponents. The young earth theory certainly fits in better with a literal reading of the Bible. (My view of that is that the literal reading is always preferred unless a figurative meaning is obvious.)
Don't we all agree that God created?
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Life's Confusing Moments
One of the things that is a challenge in pastoral care is helping people deal with life's confusing moments. The Book of Job gives some help in this respect.
You remember that God challenged Satan to "consider [God's] servant, Job." Then the Lord allowed Satan to bring all kinds of tragedy including sickness.
When Job was covered in boils,three friends came to comfort him. They did well, at first, by just being there and silently sympathizing with him. Then they started getting philosophical. They decided that Job must be experiencing this troupble because he had committed some sin in his life. Job knew this was not true, and he told them so. However, they continued to argue along that line of thought.
In Job 26 you can see:
The Folly of Man's Wisdom,
The Power of God
The nearly silent (whisper-NKJV) voice of God
and then in the context of the whole Bible, you can put this chapter into perspective when considering;
God's Plan of Salvation
There are four points you could use. (I did this morning as a guest speaker.)
If they are helpful, take them, revise or improve them, and add to them for messages of your own. Help yourself!
Some basic thrusts are that we cannot see the whole picture, but we know enough about God to know the He is trustworthy, even when we don't understand all that is going on. God is powerful, but known only to Him are the purposes of when He chooses to exercise that power in this life. God provides salvation, and, ultimately, that makes life worthwhile.
I hope you had good services this morning, and that God will bless you the rest of the week.
You remember that God challenged Satan to "consider [God's] servant, Job." Then the Lord allowed Satan to bring all kinds of tragedy including sickness.
When Job was covered in boils,three friends came to comfort him. They did well, at first, by just being there and silently sympathizing with him. Then they started getting philosophical. They decided that Job must be experiencing this troupble because he had committed some sin in his life. Job knew this was not true, and he told them so. However, they continued to argue along that line of thought.
In Job 26 you can see:
The Folly of Man's Wisdom,
The Power of God
The nearly silent (whisper-NKJV) voice of God
and then in the context of the whole Bible, you can put this chapter into perspective when considering;
God's Plan of Salvation
There are four points you could use. (I did this morning as a guest speaker.)
If they are helpful, take them, revise or improve them, and add to them for messages of your own. Help yourself!
Some basic thrusts are that we cannot see the whole picture, but we know enough about God to know the He is trustworthy, even when we don't understand all that is going on. God is powerful, but known only to Him are the purposes of when He chooses to exercise that power in this life. God provides salvation, and, ultimately, that makes life worthwhile.
I hope you had good services this morning, and that God will bless you the rest of the week.
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